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Hays Free Press
Kyle, Texas
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October 19, 2016     Hays Free Press
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October 19, 2016
 

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK + Hays Free Press October 19, 2016 "Most of the city and residents know that it's a nigbtmare. When they are stot a they somen'mes stop at 4p.m, Tra is backed up in all directions." -Kyle Taylor, Kyle Fire Chief Page 3A W th Halloween o close to the ovember election, we may as well bring up the obvious link between ghouls and political hacks: Dead people are voting. Reports are popping up around the country about deceased people who continue to vote, as recently reported by a Denver television station. That report prompted the Chicago Tribune's editorial board to publish a tongue-in- cheek editorial in which the editors admitted that dead people have influenced the outcome of Chicago elections for many years. That reminded me of an odd experience I had in Chicago just before election time a decade or so ago. I was in town on business for six or seven weeks and spent many spare hours touting the blues joints and restau- rants that are legendary there. And then one night, after enjoying a wee few adult beverag- es, I swear I saw dead people marching up and down Michigan Avenue, stuffing their pockets with voter registrations and absentee ballots. They looked liked ex- tras in a George Romero flick. I vaguely recall striking up a conversation with one of them. He said he was a member of the American Association of Dead People and that if any Republican tried to suppress his vote, the American Civil Liberties Union would be crawl- inS over the suppressor faster than you could say "Jesse Jackson." Then he said Herbert Hoover didn't have a chance of beating FDR. In no time, ghosts and goblins of every kind began oozing out of the city's underbelly. I passed an Internet cafe further up Michigan and saw a group of ghostly Internet nerds using their mastery over the web to spread lies about the candidate they loathed. Annoyed by their antics, I walked down to the Billy Goat Tavern, for years a favorite water- ing hole for the city's old-school journalists. I sensed the presence of columnist Mike Royko there, and God knows we need more journalists like of him now. Royko always called it like he saw it. His purpose was to shed light on the truth, even if the truth hurt. He knew that a great country like ours had its share of corruption, but in the end it was saved time and again by the fairness, the good-heartedness and the logical reason- ing of the American people - not to mention journalists who were in the business of speaking truth to power, rather than pushing one candi- date over another In any event, all joking aside, dead voters are registering and voting and the Chicago Tribune editorial board admits Guest Column by Tom Purcell The Times cites a report by Earl Mazo, a reporter for the New York Herald Tribune, who was shocked to learn that dead people really did vote in the 1960 election. He found a cemetery in which "the names on the tombstones were registered and voted" for JFK. that the city has a"long and extensive history of turning out the graveyard vote." The board shared some examples. One fellow, Raymond Hicks, was a Chicago Democrat precinct captain in the 27thWard. He was legendary for his election-fraud activities. During a 1983 corrup- tion trial, the Tribune reported that Hicks "told of visiting every hotel and flophouse in the West Side ward to pay for votes and lists of people who had died or moved and would not be vot- ing." Such methods were often effective. Richard Milhous Nixon knows about it all too well. In 1960, John E Kennedy's father allegedly was very successful paying for such tactics to put Illi- nois in the win column for JFK and help him take the presidency from Nixon. The Times cites a report by Earl Mazo, a reporter for the New York Herald Tribune, who was shocked to learn that dead people really did vote in the 1960 election. He found a cemetery in which "the names on the tombstones were regis- tered and voted" for JFK. In any event, dead people will be voting in this year's election, which probably makes sense. If this nutty election is any indication, and it is, the country is fast heading to an early grave. Tom Purcell author of"Misadventures of a 1970's Childhood"and "Wicked Is the Whiskey," a Seen McClanahan mystery novel both avail- able at Amazon.com, is a Pittsburgh Tribune-Re- view humor columnist and is nationally syndi- cated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons Inc. For info on using this column in your publication or website, contact Sales@cagle.com or call (805) 969-2829. Send comments to Tom at Tom@TomPurcell.com. Sitting around a campfire one eve- ning, a candidate for Texas governor joked about a subject that women fear and take very seriously. I refuse to quote it because it makes me kinda sick. That comment by Clayton Williams de- railed his campaign and Ann Richards became governor. Dismissed as merely locker room talk, the comments made by T(rump) are beneath a gentleman. Made 11 years ago, he says, they do not belie the way he feels now. I'd like to be his speechwriter for his apology. "Yes, I said that eleven years ago but I was drunk and didn't mean it. Sorry." I got a secret for you, especially for you women. In their younger years, guys talk trash like that but we weren't stupid enough to say it in front of a video camera. In the high school hallway boys would sometimes speak of such things but when an adult or a girl came up we automatically shut it down. Since the '70s, women joined the men I couldbe wrong by Ray Wolbrecht in such talk, unknowingly taking themselves off that pedestal, which in a way controlled men's be- havior. Why do guys talk like that? It's because of immaturity and a crass- ness we are born with. But many of us grow out of it as sex is gradually re- placed (Oh No!) with food and good books we've read. (I did say gradual- ly). You'd think T(rump) would've done this by his late 50s when he said it, but he chose to remain stunted. Maybe he didn't hear what the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthi- ans 13:11. "When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became a man I put away the ways of childhood behind me." Making much use of this, the other side is as much or more hypocriti- cal. They complain of this "war on womeff' in which conservatives refuse to give them everything they want, like respect. Girls, respect is what you lost, not what was taken from you. Either way, it still doesn't give men the right to abuse women. On TV women exceed the men often in the use of the "F", the "C", and the poo poo word. I saw a few minutes of HBO's 'Weep," starting Julia Lewis Dreyfuss, of whom I USED to regard in high esteem. F this and F that all over the place. What a disappointment. The Hollywood types (both genders) even in- sert it between the holiest of names - Jesus Christ. I feel pity for the script writers and the actors for surely they do not know what they are doing. (See Philippians 2: 6-11). The Off switch is designed for these situations Hillary, as some se- cret service men have written, is no stranger to the F-word. Her tirades are well known in which half the words are delete worthy. She just hasn't been caught on camera yet. Saying that any ac- cusation from a woman toward the improprieties of a man should be heard and believed, who was part of the team that called Paula Jones a liar, trailer trash and a bimbo, and later paid her $850K out of court to make the case go away. War on women by conservatives? Yeah, right! Even more egregious in the liberals' war on women is their position on the govermnent-fund- ed killing of fetuses. If that isn't war I do not know what is. Sure, it's a wom- an's health issue. We have two of the most black-hearted can- didates rtmning for office in recent histor~ even surpassing LBJ, Bill Clin- ton and Richard Nixon. The time is long overdue for "None of the Above" to be on the ballot. Ray Wolbrecht is retired from his dental practice in Kyle. He owns up to his own views and writes his column without the help of any newspaper staff. He likes to jab at different ideas and welcomes dis- cussions. rbrickwall@gmail.com It's tinny how life goes around in circles from year to year. One circle closed this month as a local resident of Buda wanted the Hays Free Pressto rtm a guest column. "Fine," I said. "But I have to approve of it be- fore it can run and it has to meet our specifications." It didn't. The column was lam- basting one candidate, John Hatch, rtmning for the Buda City Council. The letter dealt with an agreement that Hatch and his then-company had with the city of Buda to lobby Austin and the Legislature to get Austin to release some land in its ETI, and whether Hatch had reported to the coun- cil about his work. My response was that a report of some kind had to have been made, because there were articles in this Hip Czech by Cyndy Slovak- Ba~on newspaper about land in the ETI and how its release came about. I offered the colunm writer a chance to instead run a letter to the editor, taking out information that I could not verify. She declined. All of this give-and-take with the letter/column writer made me think back to the time when Mr. Hatch himself came into my office, wanting me to report about the ETJ re- lease exactly as he wanted. That didn't go well. Mr. Hatch reminded me of that conversation re- cently, laughing at himself and his naive ways when it came to the press. My response to him back then was simple: "Bring me a cashier's check for $2 million, and I'll hand you the keys to this newspaper and you can take it over and write whatever you want. But, until then, there's along line of people waiting to chew on my ass, and you need to get to the back of the line." He was shocked, and then smiled. And then he roared with laughter. Why bring this up now? Besides the local resident wanting me to only print her views, I want people griping that this newspa- per only writes one side of a story regarding the county's upcoming road and jail bond election to know a few things. A group fighting Hays County bonds says that one person, my husband, tells this staff what to write. Wrong. He doesn't even know what is being writ- ten until it is in print, and I don't attend staffnews meetings because I don't want to prejudice the reporters or editor. I deal with the editorial page and I make sure that there is money to pay staff and the bills. And, another thing: what woman rtmning her own business allows her husband to tell her what to do? We are not living in the 1950s. I do my job, and my husband doesn't tell me what do write, what to do, or howto make a decision. In the same waft I don't tell him how to run his business. Which brings me back to the idea of a $2 million cashier's check. If this group really wants to control stories, then they need to buy their own newspaper. Barton Publications, Inc. News tips: news@haysfreepress.com Opinions: csb@haysfreepress.oom 113 W. Center St., Kyle, TX 78640 www.haysfreepress.com 512-268-7862 Publisher Cyndy Slovak-Barton News and Sports Editor Moses Leos III ~~f11~111 ~ McCullough, JoneltNl~, l~rtzakm, Quixem Ramirez Columnists Bartee Halle, Chris Winslow, Ray Wolbrecht, Glint Younts Proofreader~ Jane Kirkham Marketing Director Tracy Mack Marketing Specialists James Darby, Pam Patino 4 PrOductiOn ~tant : Christine Thorpe Circulation/Classifieds David White Distribution Gabe Ornelas Tanya Ornelas i I i i1~ ! ii i:t i/ii